Never Turn Your Back On Your Own

Isaiah 58:7

Sharing your bread with the hungry,
sheltering the oppressed and the homeless;
Clothing the naked when you see them,
and not turning your back on your own.

What I'm about to talk about may seem like it's tooting my own horn, but I can assure you, that's the furthest thing from my mind.  These are facts and that's all I'm dealing with here.

I worry a lot about my family.  We put the fun in dysfunctional.  I'm the oldest of six children; three girls and three boys.  We're a blended family, but as far as I'm concerned, there are no half-siblings or step-siblings.  We are brothers and sisters.

As the oldest, I feel a certain sense of responsibility toward the others, but at the same time, I know their choices are their own to make.  I don't agree with them, but things are what they are.  They don't listen to me, so I'm pretty powerless to do much of anything, but I do what I can.

Right now, I'm most concerned with my middle brother and youngest sister, as they have turned away from each other and there doesn't seem to be anything any of us can do about it.  They are going to have to work their issues with each other out by themselves, IF they ever will.  At this point, it's looking pretty doubtful.

You see, my youngest sister is bipolar and an alcoholic.  She's on the road to sobriety now, but it's taken her a long time and a lot of heartache to get her here, and she still has relapses from time to time.  We're working on that, my husband and I and my sister, and we make sure she gets to her AA meetings and outpatient treatment programs as needed.  Mom and Dad help out once in a while with that, but since she lives with my husband and I, we shoulder the biggest responsibility for her, including financial.  Of all my brothers and sisters and their families, we have the lowest income and the least amount to be able to share, but we do so willingly because we love my sister.

That's part of the problem.  My sister has issues with middle brother because he is the wealthiest of all of us, and lives in a huge house with two extra bedrooms, three if he took out his office, and those rooms sit empty.  He's never once offered to help her or take her in or offer to help us out financially so we're not shouldering the total burden for her.  It's a burden of love, as far as I'm concerned, but my brother doesn't see it that way.

He things she's a self-absorbed, self-indulgent, screw up.  He thinks her bipolar disorder is garbage.  His whole involvement with her was to force her into rehab before she was ready to go, and then she left after only 33 days in the program.  He's pushed for rehab until he got it, and he's pushed for her to go to jail for some of the things she's done.  I love him dearly, but he is a cheapskate and thinks everything is just so easy to fix.  He's clearly in his own world about this.

The two of them have had verbal battles like you wouldn't believe.  It hurts me to hear them ripping each other apart.

Now, with the holidays quickly approaching there's already tension.  When she was living in Florida, we always spent the holidays at my brother's house.  She won't go over there, and what's more, she's not welcome there anyway.  It's got my mom in a dither... talking about canceling Christmas in our family and how she's already taken everyone's Christmas presents back to the stores already.

I'm not getting in the middle of this.  I'm giving my Christmas presents out early.  As soon as my sister-in-law's gift arrives, I will be taking hers and my brother's gifts over there and explain that I'm staying home and celebrating the birth of Christ with my family without all the presents hoo-ha.

I just can't deal with it.  Not Mom's suffering because she can't have her family together, and not brother and sister bickering.  Scratch that.  It's gone beyond bickering to outright hatred.

Reminds me of a Take Six song, "If we ever needed the Lord before, we sure do need him now."

All I can do is pray.  I want them to work things out so we can all be a family again, and then we can deal with the rest of the brothers and sisters and the way they've turned their backs on us all.

Me, middle brother, youngest sister

Last Christmas.  The last time we were all together.  I hope it's not the last time.

Back row:  Middle brother, my husband
Middle Row:  Sister-in-law, me
Front Row:  Dad, Mom, youngest sister