As you know, my Jericho has been sick, and I knew his death was imminent, but this morning when I woke, he licked at his food a couple of times, drank some water, and laid down in the litter box. I knew I had to mke the decision I didn't want to make and put him to sleep, even though I've been begging God to simply take him so I didn't have to make that choice.
I woke my sister to say her goodbyes to Jericho, and woke my husband to drive me to the vet so I could hold and cuddle my baby all the way there. For his last car ride, there would be no carrier.
We arrived a little early, before the doors opened and we sat in the car as I talked and cried to my furbaby, asking him to forgive me and telling him I was sorry for what I was about to do. Then a few minutes before the doors opened, we got out of the car and waited with the others as it is a first come, first serve clinic.
Jericho struggled in my arms a bit, trying to find a comfortable position, and then he finally found one, but he made some noises I've never heard him make before and he went still, dying in my arms before the doors even opened. I didn't realize it until we'd been sitting in the waiting room for a few minutes and he hadn't moved. I asked my husband if he was gone, and my husband got a tech to come out. He said, "I'm sorry Ma'am, but he's gone."
I cried out to God and sobbed hysterically, as I'm still doing while I write this entry. The tech ushered us out of the waiting room and around to the back door, where a nurse met us and tended to my baby. I kissed him over and over again and told him I loved him and would miss him, paid for an individual cremation with the return of his ashes to me, spent another minute with him and then left with my husband, collapsing outside in hysterics.
But still, I thanked God out loud, for taking him that way and not making me choose to euthanize him. He gave me a special gift of letting my beloved cat leave this world in my loving arms, knowing he was loved more than anything. And I know he loved me too.
So thank you again Lord, for that blessing. You came through, just as I begged you to do. And thank you for forcing me to find the courage to let go, before Jericho could let go.
You are a good God, and I praise your holy name.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
The Kitchen House (Book Review)
Title: The Kitchen House
Author: Kathleen Grissom
Pages: 368
Genre: Historical Fiction
Lavinia came to the old plantation indentured to Cap'n James Pyke, who rescued her from a ship after her parents died while still owing him passage. Her brother, Cardigan, was also rescued, but he was sold off and separated from his little sister.
Upon her arrival at the plantation, she was scared. Everything set her off on a crying jag, but as she grew up in indentured servitude,she saw nothing of black and white, but rather, the slaves who took her in and taught her became her family.
As she grew older, she still looked at things through the eyes of family, and not black and white, and when she was given social opportunities to establish herself as a lady in the white world, she still thought of the slaves as her family, which did not sit well with her husband.
Belle grew up a slave, but she was always promised her freedom papers from Cap'n Pyke. His wife, and everyone else, assumed she was the Cap'n's mistress, but in reality, she was his daughter, and he took care of her well, until his death. Her freedom papers had come, but they were intercepted by the Cap'n's wife and hidden for many years.
This story was told by two different points of view - Lavinia's and Belle's, but I feel it gave a rounded portrayal of what it was like to live in slavery and servitude from the differences of black and white. They lived similarly, but they were very different, a fact that finally became apparent to Lavinia after she married Marshall, Cap'n Pyke's son.
Still, with all the good and bad going on at the plantation, Lavinia refused to see the slaves as anything less than her family, and she addressed them as such.
I'm not usually given to reading books of this nature, because slavery disgusts me. It also makes me realize that at that time in history, my own marriage never would've been acceptable. That said, I'm amazed that the Civil War, of which this book never spoke, is still my favorite period in history.
In any case, I would recommend this book for anyone to read. I gave it five stars.
Author: Kathleen Grissom
Pages: 368
Genre: Historical Fiction
Lavinia came to the old plantation indentured to Cap'n James Pyke, who rescued her from a ship after her parents died while still owing him passage. Her brother, Cardigan, was also rescued, but he was sold off and separated from his little sister.
Upon her arrival at the plantation, she was scared. Everything set her off on a crying jag, but as she grew up in indentured servitude,she saw nothing of black and white, but rather, the slaves who took her in and taught her became her family.
As she grew older, she still looked at things through the eyes of family, and not black and white, and when she was given social opportunities to establish herself as a lady in the white world, she still thought of the slaves as her family, which did not sit well with her husband.
Belle grew up a slave, but she was always promised her freedom papers from Cap'n Pyke. His wife, and everyone else, assumed she was the Cap'n's mistress, but in reality, she was his daughter, and he took care of her well, until his death. Her freedom papers had come, but they were intercepted by the Cap'n's wife and hidden for many years.
This story was told by two different points of view - Lavinia's and Belle's, but I feel it gave a rounded portrayal of what it was like to live in slavery and servitude from the differences of black and white. They lived similarly, but they were very different, a fact that finally became apparent to Lavinia after she married Marshall, Cap'n Pyke's son.
Still, with all the good and bad going on at the plantation, Lavinia refused to see the slaves as anything less than her family, and she addressed them as such.
I'm not usually given to reading books of this nature, because slavery disgusts me. It also makes me realize that at that time in history, my own marriage never would've been acceptable. That said, I'm amazed that the Civil War, of which this book never spoke, is still my favorite period in history.
In any case, I would recommend this book for anyone to read. I gave it five stars.
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